We have all been there. That one coworker we dread seeing, and that always makes our day so much more stressful and annoying. It could be a colleague from a different team, or even your manager. From their bad communication style, to never wanting to do their work, or just not listening to anything that you tell them. How should you deal with them, so that they stop impacting your work, but so that they do not leech your mental health outside of work as well?
Bad Communicator
Learning how to communicate is not innate to humans. Well, I should be more specific. Corporate communication is not innate to humans. You have a ton of different definitions and acronyms depending on your company, as well as many different modes of communication, like direct messaging and email. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of communication styles and how people present information. Not trying to give your coworker an excuse, but understanding from the foundation can be a great place to start.
Most of the time, people want to be heard and acknowledged that they know the answer to something, or that they have completed a task successfully. That is why you may see your coworkers interrupting conversations or always bringing the topic back to themselves. You don’t need to coddle these people and treat them like an attention starved dog, but there are ways to limit the effect these people have on the conversation.
If you have a coworker that continuously interrupts you or tries to finish your sentences, it can be incredibly frustrating. The best thing you can do is when they interrupt, take a deep breath before you think about smacking them (and don’t smack them, trust me, it isn’t worth it). Once they have said what they needed to say, you can acknowledge the response they gave, but then repeat what you were saying. “Thank you for that input, but I want to circle back to what I was saying in regards to…” is an example to get the conversation back on track.
If you are being interrupted due to your coworker trying to answer the question they think you are asking, let them wear themselves out, and then you can ask the question again. “I just wanted to clarify that you understood my question…” could be how you lead them back to what you were saying. “I want to confirm your understanding on…” also works well to make them have to explain their answer, and might help with slowing them down. This also helps you get ahead of any misunderstandings in the future.
Hopefully it never comes to this, but especially if you are on a voice call with a larger group, you sometimes have to just keep talking. Now this should always be used as a last resort, but if you continue talking then there is a high likelihood your coworker will cease, or the meeting owner will speak up to silence the colleague trying to interrupt.
You also have to deal with coworkers who have no idea how to communicate their ideas. Either they provide a plethora of unneeded details, or they barely give any information and you are left scratching your head in confusion. This is where being an active listener and asking questions will come in handy.
When you are barraged with a million words from your coworker when a handful would suffice, don’t try to make sense of it. Be blunt (but respectful) and have them repeat what they said. Something to the effect of “I am sure you provided a lot of good information in what you just told me, but I am unable to see how it pertains to the question that I asked…” is a way for you to acknowledge that they provided an answer, but you were unable to comprehend what they said. This will cause them to rephrase the answer. And if it doesn’t fully give you what you need, hopefully you were given additional information so when you ask them to repeat themselves again, you can be more specific in what remaining data you need. Rinse and repeat to pull the response out of your coworker, and trust me. After a couple of times of having to repeat themselves, they will get better at how the provide details the first time around.
On the flip side, if you are not getting enough information, it will take a lot of patience and even more questioning. You can also always loop in their manager, either via CC’ing them on an email or pulling them into a group chat, which could ignite a fire under your colleague’s ass to actually be helpful.
By engaging with active listening, you will be able to raise the bar for communication. And who knows, maybe there will be some self discovery as well? Nobody’s perfect.
Lazy Worker
I can’t even count the amount of coworkers that I have had throughout the years that didn’t want to do any work. They would try and loop me in at every turn in order to pawn off a project so they could sit around and do nothing. Don’t get me wrong, if you are able to get away with doing nothing at work, then go for it. But if that comes at the cost of inconveniencing your coworkers, then you shouldn’t do that. So how should we deal with colleagues that don’t want to do shit?
The easiest answer is to loop their manager in to every conversation you have. They cannot pawn off work to you if their superior is involved, since their boss should hold them accountable for their own work. But this isn’t always the most feasible approach, especially if the lazy worker is your manager. Bringing in your manager’s manager (your grand manager if you will) could definitely have negative repercussions, even though most workplaces have rules against retaliation. Best not to poke the bear.
The next best option is making sure everything is in writing. Be precise with your wording so that there can be little room for a misunderstanding. Also, having them acknowledge the writing is important for later when they try to go behind your back or feign incompetence. You can directly reference the material when issues arise, and they will not be able to question it. Or if they do, it will be much harder.
You can be as granular and detailed as needed, even having all communications with your lazy colleague be through written word, so that no verbal contracts are ever agreed upon. Just make sure that you are well organized, otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose if you cannot reference any of the physical communications.
But if you are in a position where you cannot get anything in writing, all you can do is understand your job duties and requirements, and fulfill those tasks with no regard for anything else. This is easier said than done, especially if you are part of a group and one member is dead weight. Check to see if your company has a formal complaint system you can raise against your lazy coworker, or try and schedule a conversation with your manager about the issue. Hopefully it can get resolved, otherwise you might want to look for another job.
Never Listening
This is definitely an extension of a bad communicator, but I feel like it is such an important topic that it deserved its own section. And you have to approach these colleagues in a different way, but still utilize some of the previously mentioned tactics.
There are many different root causes for why someone doesn’t listen. They can be multi tasking, or have pre determined assumptions on a topic, or just don’t like you. Unfortunately, I will only be able to help on the first two items.
Distractions in the work place are abundant. I currently have a 4 monitor setup and still find that I am unable to display all of my current tasks, which is absurd. Studies have shown that humans cannot multi task, and that their cognitive abilities plummet when working on two or more things at the same time. And even if we are not thrown random tasks during the day, most people already have too much work for one person. So if your coworkers are multi tasking and not listening to you, give them some grace (most likely the roles have been reversed in the past, or will reverse in the future). But what you can do is try and talk to them away from their desk, such as on a walk to the break room or in an isolated meeting room with no screens. This will help both of you give your full attention to the matter at hand.
If you are finding that your colleague is forming assumptions on the work before you ever talk to them, which causes mishaps later in the process, there is an easy solution. Set aside some time to have a quick conversation that clearly defines the expectations and approach that the project needs to have. And while it may seem like you are talking down to your coworker, remember two things. First, one person cannot know everything. By taking the time to explain and walk through the task, it can clear the air and negate any assumptions that your coworker may have. Second, you can always ask them to explain their understanding before providing yours, which allows you to gain insight on what their knowledge level is with the task. This can help your phrasing when going through the work, so they don’t feel like a toddler.
The biggest thing you can do with a bad coworker is communicate. Yes, it is a two way road, so if you feel like there is a traffic jam on their side, you can always take additional action. But sometimes a quick conversation, or a handful of questions can be the change you want to see in your coworker. Remember that a rising tide lifts all boats, so you might as well invest a little energy to make your work environment better.
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