It doesn’t matter whether you are hourly or salaried, every job seems to be sucking the life out of workers more and more these days. Not only are they demanding more of our time and energy by assigning us more than is humanly possible, but we are almost always required to be on call during our days off. How the hell are we supposed to wind down and take time to ourselves if we are constantly on edge about being called by work? It’s simple, we can’t. So what can we do?
The simple answer is either to not provide your phone number to your manager, or to put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” when you are not at work. Unfortunately that is not very practical for a majority of us. We have either already given our number to our manager when we were first hired, or if we do not answer our phones during our time off, we are given the terrible shifts or not scheduled at all. Which when you need a paycheck in order to survive in our capitalistic hellscape, it is important to be able to make money. Now what?
We must begin with baby steps. Finding pockets of time throughout your day when you know you will be able to step away, even if it is just for a minute or two, are incredibly important. You may see it as a band-aid on a bullet wound, but like I previously stated, these are baby steps. We need to be able to get into the rhythm of taking time for ourselves, even if those breaks are just bathroom breaks.
By breaking from work, we are able to reset our brain just a little bit and lower our stress levels, even if it is only a fraction. I am the type of person who wants to work until everything is done, and only then will I take a break. But I found that the more I worked, the more work was added to my plate, and so I was never truly be done. By stepping away from my desk, either to grab a quick snack, use the restroom (sometimes it was just to sit on the toilet and scroll through my phone) or get some fresh air by walking to my car, I found that it broke the day up and gave me a quick energy boost. Work is always going to be there. There will always be a fire to put out, but those few minutes away won’t cause the world to end. Though if you are caught abusing the time away and are clocking out for multiple bathroom breaks in an hour, that might raise a red flag to your manager. So especially if you are faking the breaks, make sure it is a reasonable amount to not draw any unwanted attention.
Where do we go next? A couple extra breaks in an 8 hour shift is not going to create a magical work life balance. Mainly because you are still at work. Which is why you need to find something to do outside of work that takes you out of this corporeal realm and transports you somewhere else entirely. Well, maybe not that dramatic. What you need is a dependable hobby, one that when you are absorbed into, feels almost like a trance and allows you to leave the stresses of the day, week, and future behind. I know how it sounds, especially when you might already be drained from a long day at work. But let’s take a look at what this hobby can be.
A hobby is an activity one does in their leisure time for pleasure. That is the dictionary definition, but there is a lot more nuance than that. A hobby should never add extra stress. Sure, video games can be rage inducing at times, especially if it is a multiplayer game with ranked PvP matches or a souls-like game such as Elden Ring. But it should not cause dread when thinking about the hobby, or add any extra anxieties and stress. You need to be able to look forward to doing it. And in the age of everyone turning hobbies into side hustles for a little bit extra income, don’t follow suit. The moment you try to force a certain path for an activity is the moment you will drain any excitement and passion from it. Instead, let yourself be guided by the hobby, the journey it will take you on will be much more enjoyable.
You don’t have to be good at the hobby for you to enjoy it. No one is watching you or judging you. Even if your hobby is going to the gym (which is a fantastic way to alleviate stress, when you have the energy), I guarantee you that everyone else in there is more focused on their own form. They are not paying any attention to what you are doing. Let yourself be bad at something, because the second that you admit you are not good will be one of the most liberating moments of your life. As long as you continue to have fun at your hobby, that is the main goal. And the hobby does not need to cost money like a gym membership does. There are so many free ways to enjoy your time and escape. From going on hikes (if you are not stuck in the concrete jungle like I am), to writing (paper and pencil, Google Docs, or you can always publish stories to free sites like Wattpad and create free blog sites on WordPress), to visiting your local library and reading. I imagine there is a plethora more ideas too, so please leave what has worked for you in the comments, or what you are looking for, and let’s help out our struggling dreamers.
Don’t get me wrong, it can be incredibly difficult to muster the energy for anything after work, especially if you also have a long commute as well as you have to cook, clean, and take care of family. And when you are already burnt out from months or years of work, it can feel like climbing a mountain to try and do anything new. Believe me, I have been there many times in my short life, far more often than I would like to admit. I remember reading that it can take years to recover from burn out, which most of us do not have the luxury to step away from working for that long. That is where we need a little bit of tough love, and where the habit of taking small breaks can come in handy. Give yourself 5 minutes of uninterrupted time for your hobby every day. If you are not feeling it after the 5 minutes, then drop it and vegetate in front of the television and try again the next day. But what you may find is that the 5 minutes will turn into 15, and then turn into an hour, and before you know it, you will have to pull yourself away from the hobby. Which is exactly what we want, since that hour or more spent will have transported you outside of the every day rat race, and hopefully will have been able to help reset your mind.
From there, the world is your oyster. No matter how niche the hobby is, there will always be a community for it. If you are itching to meet new people or get a new perspective on your hobby, finding others to share is a great way to get away, and have an excuse for why you cannot answer your phone or come in on a shift. Of course you can always lie and say you are doing something, but lies come out eventually, so you might as well pursue something that is truthful and can further your hobbies. But don’t pressure yourself, because at the end of the day, hobbies should be for you and you alone, not for external gratification that will slowly fade away and leave you even more burnt out than before.
For me, I found that I need to create something in order to feel a fulfillment with my life. That creation didn’t need to be shared with the world (and in a lot of cases, it was probably a good thing I never shared it), but for me to be able to look at something I made and have a sense of pride, it gave me a lot more meaning and helped carve through the empty feeling that work left me with. From making a crappy little game within Unreal Engine, to writing out the rules to a board game that no one will ever play, the hours I spent never felt like a waste. And there were plenty of times that I gave up after 5 minutes to go doom scroll on Reddit and with Netflix in the background. But those nights that I got lost in the maelstrom of creativity were perfect nights for recharging my battery. And I will not say it was some miracle drug that fixed my burn out. I am still incredibly burnt out, and will be for years. But I do feel like the creative outlets through my hobbies have been a salve to speed up the healing process.
So just remember. Give yourself grace and kindness while you search for a new hobby or dive back into an old one. 5 minutes a day, when you can, and we can battle burn out and create a manageable work-life balance together.
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